he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Everclear isn't food dammit
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
