he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
