if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize