Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize