I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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