I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
