talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm passing your future prison.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
