U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
