So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
