Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
