Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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