Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
operation harelip BJ is a go
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
