soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
How external is "for external use only"?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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