I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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