I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
