His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
