just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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