It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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