We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize