): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
