I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
