dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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