She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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