She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
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Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
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Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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