He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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