Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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