I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
