STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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