Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
