I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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