careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
