dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I am one with the molecules
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize