I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
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