I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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