That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
