Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
