so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
