I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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