yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
