Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Bring me that man meat
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
