why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize