I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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