you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
