so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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