The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
