I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
