You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
