I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
