You made me cry and you don't even care
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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