Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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