I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
