K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
