Ambien. No doubt about it.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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