That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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