After last night, I could never be a politician.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
