I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
