Do you still have your period?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
