You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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