turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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