I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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